


All That Remains

by ApostateRevolutionary



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 06:23:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4169274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApostateRevolutionary/pseuds/ApostateRevolutionary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anders helps Hawke deal with her mother's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All That Remains

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from anon on tumblr: "Have you written anything with femhawke and Anders around the whole 'All That Remains' fiasco? If you have I'd love to read it, I love reading your Anders fics :)"

Her lungs were burning, feeling as though they were going to burst, and her legs ached sharply, but Hawke kept running. She had to hurry. If she just kept going, she could do this. She could save her mother. If she stopped now, Mother could – No, she wasn’t going to think about it. She just had to focus on running, and not slowing down. That’s all that mattered.

The rogue reached a larger room and stopped to assess it. There was blood splattered all over the ground, and the area reeked of death. A woman sat on a chair some distance ahead, facing away from her. Hawke’s heart leapt into her throat, and she started moving again, at a jog this time.

“Mother!” She cried, a tinge of relief in her voice, placing a hand on the woman’s shoulder.

Hawke had just allowed herself to relax a bit, believing her job was done, that Mother was safe. But when the woman stood and turned around, the twisted visage before her was not the one she associated with her mother. Face a dusty grey and eyes discoloured, a twisted smile graced the features that had once belonged to Leandra. The rogue’s stomach dropped, and she froze, her eyes taking in the horror before her. Her gaze then found the stiches holding closed the large slice across the woman’s neck.

“You came. I knew you would come.” Leandra said, though her voice was different, rougher than before, “But too late. Again. Always too late.”

Hawke just continued to stare, finding herself unable to move as her mother staggered forward. She wanted to back away, to turn and run from all of this, but her feet remained planted as if her body was no longer under her control.

“Just like Carver. You could’ve saved him, you know? If you’d interfered, your baby brother might still be alive.” Leandra said, and Hawke was finally able to step back a bit, trying to get away from her mother’s advance.

“Th-there was nothing I could do about that!” The rogue cried, feeling tears sting her eyes.

“Yes, there was, and you know it. You failed him. And then you failed Bethany too. I _begged_ for you not to take her on that expedition, yet you did anyways. You left her down there, too. Didn’t even give your own sister a proper burial.” Leandra continued, scowling and still hobbling towards Hawke, who now found her back against a wall.

The rogue swallowed, just barely managing to do so past the lump in her throat. The tears had now started streaming down her face.

“It’s your fault they’re dead. You failed them, as you’ve now failed me. How could you let this happen to your own mother?”

The woman probably would’ve kept talking, but Hawke managed to speak past her own sobs. “I’m sorry! I tried my best! I tried to save you! I never wanted this!”

“Of course you tried your best.” Leandra was now so close to the pinned rogue that they were almost pressed together, and Hawke could smell her mother’s rancid breath as she spoke, “Your best wasn’t good enough. _You_ weren’t good enough. A better daughter would’ve been able to save me, to save us all. You’re just a failure.”

“Stop! Stop it! I’m sorry!” Hawke begged, “I won’t let it happen again, I swear! I’ll never fail anyone else ever again!”

Leandra’s scowl twisted into a smirk. “That’s right. You’ll never fail anyone again.”

With that, Hawke felt sharp claws stab into her belly, and tear away before digging in again. Blood bubbled past her lips, her eyes bulging out, as her mother continued to rip her to pieces. The pain was excruciating, and Hawke fell to the ground, hitting it harder than she knew she should’ve. The creature that wore Leandra’s face didn’t stop, but the rogue was too weak to fight back. Someone was screaming, and she closed her eyes, praying, _begging_ for it all to end.

All at once, Hawke found herself on the floor of a different room, struggling to flee from hands that kept trying to grab her, to tear her, to _hurt_ her. The screaming sound was still there, and it was grating against her ears. She wanted it to stop, the hands to stop, everything to just _stop_.

Arms wrapped tightly around her waist, trying to hold her still, and it was then that Hawke realized the screams belonged to her. Breathing heavy, not quite able to catch her breath, she looked around wildly, the piercing sound finally stopping now that she knew she had control over it.

“It’s okay, love. You’re in your bedroom. No one is hurting you.” A voice said from behind her.

The rogue stopped thrashing, letting the words wash through her. She knew this voice, and whoever owned it seemed to be right. Her mind had finally caught up with her eyes, and she discovered that she was indeed in her bedroom. The fire was crackling peacefully, and everything was calm. The arms were holding her, but they didn’t hurt.

“…Anders?” She said, trying to focus on reality instead of the memory/nightmare that kept trying to pull her back.

“Yes, it’s me. I’m here, and we’re not in the sewers. Everything is alright. Just focus on my voice, sweetheart.” The mage continued, his tone soothing.

Hawke listened closely as he started again, repeating what he’d said before. Yes, he was right. This was her bedroom, not the sewers where – No, best not to think of it. Voice. Focus on his voice. Anders. He’s here, he’s real, and so was she. That’s what she had to focus on.

After a time, her breathing had returned almost to normal, and her heart no longer felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. It had only been a dream. When Anders felt her start to relax, he released one arm from around her waist and moved it up into her hair, running his fingers through the messy strands. The rogue leaned into him, now focusing on the sensation.

The nightmare may have fled, but the memories of it still lingered. Hawke remembered what her ‘mother’ had said. It had only disturbed her so much because she had known, deep down, that it was true. She was a failure. It was her fault that Leandra was gone now. That it had happened to way it did. That she’d never hear her mother’s voice again. The now-familiar sting of tears came, and she couldn’t hold them back.

Anders, saying nothing, pulled her into his lap, running his hand down her back. He held her as she wept, much like how she would hold him on the nights he awoke from nightmares of times long past. She was sobbing almost uncontrollably and, had she been paying more attention, she would’ve felt the small dose of healing magic he was infusing into her to ease the constriction in her lungs.

When her weeping had calmed, the mage gestured slightly towards the bed. Hawke nodded, and allowed him to gently pull her up onto the much more comfortable surface. He then lay beside her, and pulled her against him as she burrowed into his neck. The rogue melted into him, letting all that was Anders envelop her, using his presence as a shield against her own mind. She made a mental note to thank him in the morning. Not just for this, for putting up with all her grief, but also for not insisting she talk about it. Discussing this was the last thing she wanted right now. He was giving her exactly what she needed; comfort and silence.

“ _Schlaf, Kindlein, schlaf_.”

Hawke looked up a bit as she realized Anders was singing. The rogue had only heard him sing a handful of times before, most of which were while he jokingly attempting to play the lute. The man had pretty much no talent with the instrument, though his voice was strangely nice. Not objectively speaking – a career as a minstrel was obviously out of the question – but there was a timbre to it that she found enchanting in an entirely unique way. And now, with this song that sounded a bit like a lullaby, she found it wonderfully soothing.

“ _Der Vater_ _hüt die Schaf, Die Mutter schüttelts Bäumelein, Da fällt herab ein Träumelein. Schlaf, Kindlein, Schlaf_.” the mage continued, has fingers gliding gently along her shoulder blades.

“What is that?” She asked, unable to help herself, even though she was worried he wouldn’t continue after she interrupted him with the first words she’d said since waking up.

The sad smile was audible in Anders’ voice. “It’s a song my mother used to sing to me before bed when I was young. It always made me feel so relaxed. When they first brought me to the Circle, I would sometimes sing it to myself while I was trying to fall asleep. I’d sing one you could understand the words to, but there were no lullabies in the tower, so it’s the only one I know. I was simply hoping it might help. I can stop though, if you don’t like it.”

“No, keep going. I like it.” Hawke said, and it was true; the song was comforting, helping to take her mind off of recent events.

“ _Schlaf, Kindlein, schlaf. Am Himmel ziehn die Schaf, Die Sternlein sind die Lämmerlein, Der Mond, der ist das Schäferlein. Schlaf, Kindlein, schlaf_.”

Hawke closed her eyes, letting the song overpower her thoughts, the feel of Anders’ arms around her and his warmth against her reassuring her that she was indeed safe. She breathed in his scent, allowing these sensations to block out all else. If she slept again that night, she did not know, but the dreams did not return. And more than anything else, she was grateful she hadn’t been alone the first night her mother was gone.


End file.
